How to overcome resentment in homemaking

Homemaking is a beautiful lifestyle but can sometimes make you feel bitter or resentful. Maybe you feel like you're doing too much. Or maybe you are beginning your journey and don't see the beauty in homemaking that everyone keeps talking about.

The first step is figuring out where the feelings of resentment towards homemaking are coming from. Are you tired and needing a break? Are you comparing yourself to others in similar situations? Or maybe in completely different situations? Are you just having trouble finding joy in it? Or is it something else?

Take a break

Maybe you're tired and overwhelmed. It is important to take time to rest and relax. Sometimes you may need to simply take some time in the afternoon to sit and look outside. Or rest on the couch and not worry about anything else.

Schedule in a time for afternoon tea where you can rest or maybe you simple are in need of a nap. That's okay and important to do if you feel you need it.

Be sure to sleep early so that you can feel better and more energetic the next day. I have made the mistake way too many times where I sleep late and find that the next day I'm less patient, I'm more susceptible to getting overwhelmed, and less likely to be productive with my day which frustrates me.

Ask for help

Be willing to ask for help. Maybe you feel like you're suppose to do it all on your own but there are sometimes when you really need the help.

Maybe you're new to this and learning to cook and clean is overwhelming. Maybe you need to google search or ask a friend or family member for help.

Ask your husband if he can help you get a task done.

Sometimes I ask my husband to help drain the pasta or I ask him to take the baby outside for a few minutes while I get something done.

Another important point here is to accept help when it is offered. Accepting help is a result of embodying our feminine energy. Additionally, being vulnerable when we need to is important.

For example recently our water dispenser needed to be switched out with a new 5 gallon water bottle, usually if my husband is home and not super busy then I will ask him to bring in a new bottle from our garage which is something I am perfectly capable of doing on my own but I'm also aware that it is easier for him to do the task because he's bigger.

Adding to that example, there have been times when I thought he was too busy or I didn't feel like asking for help ( I was probably in a more negative state and didn't feel like asking him), and so he walked towards me and said he can pick it up and bring it over to the garage, I kindly said "it's okay, I got it" as I heavily breathed while quickly walking over to the water cooler. He made a silly comment and said "damn butch" 😂 (yes butch defined as: having an appearance or other qualities of a type traditionally seen as masculine.) I laughed so hard.

It was obviously a joke he made but it is true, I was being more in my masculine energy. So the next time I needed to refill our water cooler I walked into the garage and my husband was working out inside. I didn't want to interrupt his workout by asking for help so I began grabbing the bottle, he rushed over and said "I got it", remembering that it's good to accept help, I stepped back and thanked him.

The point is sure I can do many tasks on my own but if he offers to clean up or do the dishes for example (which he does), I have learned to be grateful, not feel guilty, and accept the help.

Whoa that was a story time that could of probably been it's own blog post 😅

Talk to your husband

Which leads to this tip: talking with your husband. It's a good idea to communicate how you may be feeling and discuss a solution for when you begin feeling overwhelmed. Whether that be him taking over dinner or him bringing home takeout, it's a good idea for him to support you in those moments.

If you would like your husband to offer more help without you asking then it's okay to communicate what you want, so that your husband knows what you want. Over time you asking for help may make him more aware of things he can do to help you especially if he sees how grateful you are for it.

Self care

Be sure to schedule in self care. That can look like a morning workout, journaling, and meditation. It can also be scheduling a outing every Friday morning to give you a break outside the home.

It can be a great day get some errands done and then stop by a cafe or lunch spot.

Think about what fills your cup and be sure to schedule in the self care that you deserve.

Write it down

Writing down your feelings of resentment can help you organize your thoughts which can lead to finding a solution to the cause of the bitter feelings.

This goes hand in hand with praying or reading the Bible if that is something you're into.

Perspective on homemaking

Maybe you're just beginning this journey and need to learn to find joy in the mundane tasks.

It is important for you to realize that your job is just as important as your husbands.

What I have been doing lately is "romanticizing my life" to help do away with any bad feelings. So this can look like doing dishes by candlelight or singing as you clean.

Being a homemaker is a gift not a burden. It is an honor to be able to serve your family. It is one of the most important jobs in the world.

Homemaking is an art and you hold great influence over your family's daily life.

Avoid Burnout

There are many things you can do to avoid feeling overwhelmed and burnout.

Figuring out your priorities and non negotiable's is a good place to start. And be okay with saying no to anything that you think will throw you off.

Also wearing to many hats and trying to do more than you can will undoubtedly cause stress, so again learning to say no and not biting more than you can chew is a good idea. For example agreeing to host too many gatherings or agreeing to volunteer too much of your time to where it get's in the way of your sanity. Of course helping others is nice, but you need to care for yourself first and your family and home.

Eliminate distractions like too much tv or extensive social media scrolling. Or maybe you have been a book worm and can cut down on that.

Meal planning and creating a cleaning schedule can help you plan so that you can get used to routine and avoid overthinking daily.

Be sure to write down tasks, appointments, and other lists in your notebook and calendar.

Getting organized is very helpful!

Conclusion

Remember to take care of yourself and do the things you love and be sure to have good time management and don't be afraid to ask for help or simply vent to someone you trust.

It will get easier.

I hope this post helped you. Let me know your thoughts below.

Thank you so much for reading,

xo Melissa